it's gonna be all right, it's gonna be all right...

So I tried telling myself that I was okay,
that I was over this whole ordeal,
and it worked so well for the entire weekend. <3

But alas, the truth is that I am not.
The fact that I am listening to my "Rainy Days and Acoustic Guitars" CD may contribute to it a bit, but I am truly down in the dumps. Forseriously, I'm tearing up. I haven't been so depressed in awhile... Oh, some may say it's such a silly thing to be upset over, but it isn't. If you had even an IDEA of how much it meant to me, of how lame of an excuse I was given, of how corrupted and political PC has become, you would understand. I'm sure you would- everyone else has.

I so badly want to be happy, I want so badly to be okay with it, or to at least GET OVER IT. I want so badly to be excited for PC next year, for my friends who made it... But it's hard to when I think about who got president, and more importantly about who got kicked out. PC has become so desired, so the organization on campus to be a part of, and the counselors have such intense pressure in selecting new PCs, that I think they truly make decisions based on irrelevant, fake and misunderstood reasons- on what they hear and not on what may have actually happened.

I think what makes me so mad is that the counselors all ASSUMED something about me. Apparently they had thought this for about a month, and hadn't bothered to address me about until the day before- and not even formally. It was indirectly brought to my attention. Oh, but did I get any say in the matter? No- they're going to take his side because he's cute, he's new, and everyone likes him.

It's really wrong. To be honest, the fact that PCs are spreading rumors about it don't make things easier for me. This is a really hard time in my life. If you want to talk to me about it, don't hesitate to! But don't believe everything you're hearing. They're all lies, force-fed to officers so they think they know what's going on, so counselors don't look like idiots for the mistakes they made.

If I sound bitter, it's because I AM. I think it's mostly due to the fact that it was so UNEXPECTED, that the reasoning was such a LIE, that a certain fellow whom I'm not too fond of is a JERK. Oh, I know I need to get over it. But it's so hard.... </3

I truly, truly am so stoked for all of my friends who made it. I only wish I could be there with you all.